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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on November 16, 2005 at 15:40:37:
Date: Oct 2005 Hi It is clear from you email that you have little or no faith in yourself. Because I have very few pieces of information to go on, I suggest this; ask yourself some questions: Children are not gullible about parental care. They are capable of seeing, hearing, observing, and interacting. In fact, children often see truths that others fail to see. They often have a sensitive understanding of others’ motivations to create damage, hurt, and pain. In other words, it is “hard to pull the wool over their eyes”. The Yin: If you husband is the louse you say and you have no intimate relationship, think carefully about accepting this life year after year. There is only a hint of all the problems, but children do react to continual tension and unhappiness. Is this the best life you and your husband can provide? Family counseling might help if you wish to stay. The Yang: Whatever decision you make about your marriage, you need to gain a better and stronger sense of self. When you believe you are a person of self worth, and gain some independence, the other parts of your life will be more comfortable and stable. Do those things which support your best self. Group counseling or individual therapy if you can afford it, will support confidence and self esteem. Make every effort to make changes now for yourself and your children. Feel free to write again.
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