Converting Friendship to Love

From: "L M”
To: askdrbeverlee@yahoo.com
Subject: Advice
Date: Oct 2003

I have been dating this guy for about 4 years. Sometimes things don't go very well but I still love him and we live together. On the other hand I have this guy friend who I really enjoy spending time with, and every time I am with him I am so happy and it makes me examine my current relationship. My guy friend sort of has an on and off girlfriend and sometimes I think about leaving my boyfriend but am afraid to take the risk. What should I do, I am being pulled in two different directions. Desperate for Advice

Dear L:

Take a risk! Actually we are always risking our self when we have an intimate, healthy relationship. We want to share our feelings and thoughts about things that matter, not the weather!

The Yin: It is important information that you are happy with your guy pal and enjoy things together. Talk with him about entering a relationship that builds on your current friendship and can develop into a deeper, richer commitment. Love may blossom when you both provide freedom and space. An essential part of this space is to be unencumbered with old relationships that fill your room with too many people.

The Yang: What is Love? Is it not having fun? Is it not being happy? Is it not sharing your best times together? Four years is a long time in a relationship without full commitment. Is this possibly a habit, being used to this life that keeps you there? Not a good reason to spend the next 4 years doing this. Imagine your life 5 years down the road. Ask yourself, “If it were the same as it is at this time, how would I feel about it”? If the answer is, “I want it to change”, then don’t wait 5 years to do it.

Feel free to write again.

Best Wishes,
Dr. Beverlee
Author, The Day the Music Stopped, re-enchantment of our lost spirit
www.selfdiscoveryofspirit.com or my email address: beverleesee4ever@aol.com