Self Full-Filling Prophecy

Date:Nov 2003
From:"o p”
Subject:relationship advice
To:askdrbeverlee@yahoo.com

I really like this guy and I think he like me also. We spend time together and I enjoy his company. However, he sends me mixed signs that he wants a relationship and sometimes he doesn’t. The problems is that I don't want to get hurt in this relationship. He often tellsme that he enjoy being around me but I am afraid that after a couple of months the relationship will go down. So, do I tell him that I am attracted to him or just keep my feeling to myself. He is a caring and understanding person. For example, he says can I have company over and I be like sure. Then he goes on to say can they spend the night with me and I say things like it your house do what you please. He says that hedon't have company over but I don't believe him. Should I just stay and figure out where this relationship is heading or should I just up and leave? I really do need some advice in this relationship? Another problem is that all of my past relationship don't seem to last for some months then they vanish can u give me some tips on how to break this trend. Thanks very much, O. P
Dear O

How many times have you walked away from a relationship because you expected to be dumped? It sounds like you are willing to get out again rather than risk what could become a deeper, long-term relationship. Unless you spend time gaining confidence and self-esteem, you will express your insecurity in a damaging way. For example, the lack of trust in your friend is really a lack of trust in yourself.

Believe what your friend says until he gives you deeds and behavior that contradicts what he has told you. Your fear of getting hurt can easily become a self full-filling prophecy, and I believe it has. You will question so much that your male friends will walk away. Of course, you expect that to happen.

The Yin: Check on some woman’s groups that can help you gain self worth and confidence. There is also group therapy, or a better opportunity would be individual counseling. When you feel good about yourself, the men won’t vanish, and if one did, you would survive very nicely.

The Yang: Your friend gives you encouragement, is caring, understanding, and invited you and friends into his home. So, where is he mixed message? Ask yourself, “Is the mixed message not about your friend’s interest in you, but more about your lack of trusting what someone tells you”? And why?

Best Wishes,
Dr. Beverlee
Author, The Day the Music Stopped, re-enchantment of our lost spirit
www.selfdiscoveryofspirit.com or my email address: beverleesee4ever@aol.com