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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on December 09, 2003 at 16:23:31:
Date:Dec 2003 Dr. Beverlee,I am 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and I really love him a lot. I've been told that we're too young to be in a serious, committed relationship but I try not to listen because, at this point, I really can't imagine not being with him. Our relationship had been great but lately we've been fighting a lot and I've been getting really upset with him. Sometimes it’s as if he has no regard for my feelings, I know he doesn't intentionally do or say things to hurt me, but he just doesn't think before he does these things. Sometimes I think I may come off as too dramatic or emotional to him sometimes, but he doesn't realize how easy it is for him to hurt my feelings, or make me cry, just for saying the wrong thing or making a hurtful remark. I don't want this to ruin our relationship because I love him so much. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. What can I do? Dear C: One of the most difficult essentials of any relationship is expectations, that is what we expect from another in the way of behavior and feelings. Expectations that are not fulfilled lead to disappointment. For example, you want or expect your boyfriend to be sensitive to a particular request. He may not wish to do this, or he may be incapable of behaving in a specific way. You may be expecting a very young man to have more experience or understanding than is possible at his age. The Yin: Fighting a lot is a clue to a troubled relationship. Perhaps you can take some time off and give yourself permission to explore your world and some new people within it. If you are meant to be in this relationship, time off will be helpful to both of you. Develop your own gifts and talents. Knowing who you are, and what you want to change, gives you the best opportunity to share your life in a healthy relationship where each person develops their own color. A strong blue and a strong red make a beautiful purple when joined together. The Yang: If your boyfriend is an insensitive clod, then you will not blend your lives in any happy way. So you will move on even though you have experienced love with him. And you will be better off. Best Wishes,
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