Lunch Gopher For Boss

From: "G
To: askdrbeverlee@yahoo.com
Subject: lunch problems
Date: Mar 2004


Dear Dr. Beverlee:

I work for someone who never leaves his office. He thinks if he sees someone that he knows on the street they will want to talk to him and waste his time. Everyday he asks one of the staff to get his lunch. I am sick of stopping what I'm doing to be his gopher! Today he had the nerve to ask me to get his lunch (walk 2 blocks away) and when I said I wasn't hungry right now he told me I could get mine and heat it up later! What should I do!?
Help,
The Lunch Lady

Dear Lunch Lady:

You are angry about your bosses inappropriate lunch demands and most likely want to tell him to “heat his lunch later”, or “choke on it”. Well, some considerations are necessary before you take any action. Ask yourself “How important is this job for you?” “Can you work elsewhere?” “Do you want to leave your present employment?” Anytime we confront issues, we need to accept potential consequences of our action.

The Yin: Your boss wants what he wants when he wants it, and is insensitive to other’s needs. If you have a set amount of time for lunch (example 1 hour) you can make it clear to him that you need this time to relax and eat away from the office. Tell him this arrangement works best for you as a means of relieving your stress and refreshing you. Bringing your own lunch back to the office complicates separating yourself and your needs from his, since it seems easy for him to ask you to bring two lunches instead of one. So changing the daily habit may allow you more freedom to do lunch as you wish, when you wish.

The Yang: Being a gopher may come with the territory you now inhabit. You must decide what you will risk to change this territory. Your boss is most unlikely to change his own habits. Each gopher will either comply willingly or decide what works best and assert their own needs. Perhaps the “office gophers” can meet and develop a schedule or rotation that meets each gopher’s needs, or are you the only one complaining? It is possible that any major change in your gopher behavior will become a control battle between you and your boss, and we both know that he has the power. Perhaps you need a new boss who loves eating lunch at a good restaurant! Good luck.

Feel free to write again.
Best Regards,
Dr. Beverlee, author of The Day the Music Stopped, re-enchantment of our lost spirit
www.selfdiscoveryofspirit.com

PS: What is your track record with authority?