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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on July 02, 2004 at 16:57:22:
From: W
To:askdrbeverlee@selfdiscoveryofspirit.com Dear Dr. Beverlee:
have been struggling with trying to find a solution for my problem for a long time. The past year to the point of a nervous breakdown possible stroke.
1. I have a 12 yr old child, who is my main concern. But I too need a change. My husband is an alcoholic...daily drinker, who lost his main job over 4 years ago. He does odd work sometimes to pay bills...but for over 12 years we haven't had any type of intimacy..and for past 15 or more years drinking has been progressive..
I know its time to go, past time...but I can't seem to find a solution. I started working part time about 5 years ago. I have no vehicle, no money and lately no mind in which to regroup and make a decision....Staying within this situation isn't a given for my son and I....
husband is verbal abusive, falling down drunk all weekends, and a lot of evenings....he is getting sick and sicker...I am on a waiting list for low income housing but I don't have the deposit or rent money, much less electric, water, gas deposits, so not sure about that.
I need a really decent paying job, a vehicle and a whole new life. I just don't know...anymore
I always believed that when one door closed a window opened--but for me that isn't happening...I have a friend who wants us to stay with her family, but staying isn't a short few weeks, more like a year or...average income is only 8,000 a yr for me...I have a job skills, never worked for 25 yrs of marriage, until 5 yr ago...I have to solve this for my child, a child shouldn't have to see their father fall off porches and cuss the weatherman on tv daily.
any way Thanks for listening
Wanda
Dear W:
Although life has been especially harsh for you and your son, know that there is a better life awaiting you to enter it. You are absolutely correct that you must move on. The good news is that a friend has opened her heart and home. Your life will change, slow2ly, but it will change for the better. Have courage and take the first step! The Yin: Depression and or a stroke make transitions difficult. Energy is missing for doing the necessary steps but if you walk slowly, one small step at a time, it will amaze you how far you can go. Within your letter are the goals; a decent job, a home, a car - basically a simple, stable life. Let go of the alcoholic, co-dependent life which only deteriorates your living and hope. The Yang: Work skills will return and develop. Many women are married for long periods and then re-enter the work force and find a surprising number of skills unknown or thought lost. Many communities have centers where new skills are taught, such as computer, Internet, sales, etc. once you are free of the 400 lb weight on your shoulders everything will look different, and a light of hope will shine. Keep in touch with me,
Best Regards,
Dr. Beverlee, author of The Day the Music Stopped, re-enchantment of our lost spirit
www.selfdiscoveryofspirit.com
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