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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on August 10, 2004 at 09:42:44:
From: "J R Hi, my name is J, and I have a best friend named S who I've been swooning over for some time, but he has no idea. We are very close, and we talk all the time. We talk for hours everyday, and we plan on most likely going to the prom and a Halloween dance this year. He makes me laugh like no one else, he's always there for me- generally the kind of guy that I've been looking for, but never got. I just recently got out of a serious relationship, and I'm still very hurt. There are several issues I would like to bring up:
It is easy to set up barriers to future connections when you have been wounded in a seriously committed relationship. Time does heal the spirit but you also can help yourself by accepting an idea. All relationships do not have happy endings. If we are not willing to risk opening our self to another person, then we will miss some wonderful experiences. In some situations we have a sense that we can trust a friend, and we allow this trust unless given information that our feeling is mistaken. The Yin: Your new best-friend shares many good things with you. By all means allow it to grow and develop slowly. You are still suffering loss and that means taking time to know your true feelings. Remember the old saying, “Caught on the rebound,” it is attaching to someone new for the wrong reason. The Yang: Question 1: Find out by honest communication what your friend feels for you. Question 2: He is interested or you wouldn’t be doing everything that you are now doing together. Question 3: Yes, ask him! Feel free to write again. |