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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on March 15, 2005 at 08:49:28:
Subject: lost My mother passed away July 28th last year of cancer. My father is going through the same thing. I am 52 and have read a lot of books and none have helped me. I feel totally lost in my life and don’t know what or where to go or do. I feel separated from myself and need a book to read that can help. Thank you very much. S So sorry that you are facing a second major loss doubly difficulty when you are still grieving the loss of your mother. It requires courage and strength to help your father during his illness, and at this time you are very likely depleted emotionally. As you say you are lost, and it is understandable that you would feel that way. Let me suggest a few things. The Yin: Find a way to give to yourself. It is very important to take time to do some things you value, things which would bring some joy if events were different. Under the worst circumstances we can lift our spirit by having a purpose. Think about what that purpose can be at this time. What helps us survive is doing something meaningful, something that is part of our creative self. This is the time to protect your own wellbeing. Choose to be only around people who are supportive and loving. Anyone else needs to be left behind. The Yang: I’m not sure more reading will benefit you – Kübler Ross wrote several books on dying and grief. Perhaps talking to a counselor or there are some excellent grief groups in most communities. Knowing you are not alone is a first step in not feeling lost. Feel free to write again.
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